Murphy’s Laws (and other universal rules)

1. Nothing is as easy as it looks.
2. Everything takes longer than you think.
3. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
4. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
   
5. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
6. If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
7. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
8. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
9. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
10. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
11. Every solution breeds new problems.

• Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

1. The other line moves faster.
2. Don't try to change lines. The other line -- the one you were in originally -- will then move faster.

1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.

• The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

1. If you keep anything long enough you can throw it away.
2. If you throw anything away, you will need it as soon as it is no longer accessible.

• If everything seems to be going well, you've overlooked something

1. All's well that ends.
2. A penny saved is a penny.

1. No mission is impossible for the officer doesn't have to do it himself.
2. In any mission, once you have exhausted all possibilities, lost most your men, and failed, there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else who wasn't there at the time.
3. Allies come and go; enemies accumulate.

1. Those who have the shortest distance to travel invariably arrive latest.
2. No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
3. The longer ahead you plan a special event, and the more special it is, the more likely it is to go wrong.
4. The distance you have to park from your apartment increases in proportion to the weight of packages you are carrying.
5. In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.
6. In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
7. Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
8. After a salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you had before.
9. The more a recruit knows about a given subject, the better chance he has of being assigned to something else.

1. You can throw a burnt match out the window of your car and start a forest fire, but you can use two boxes of matches and a whole edition of the Sunday paper without being able to start a fire under the dry logs in your fireplace.
2. Children have more energy after a hard day of play than they do after a good night's sleep.
3. The person who buys the most raffle tickets has the least chance of winning.
4. Good parking places are always on the other side of the street.
5. Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.
6. And lastly, after all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done!