The Curse of Contentment

As people start into Lent, one general topic that comes up is contentment. Oftentimes, when people talk about contentment, they are referring to a lack of desire for more. That's the type of contentment I am writing about today, and in specific, I am writing about a lack of desire for spiritual things.

When any of us accepts Christ as Savior, we reject the old religion of the world:  Put on your best behavior, and be good enough in order to earn approval and affection. We reject this religion in favor of the truth that we are NOT good enough, but we are deeply and truly loved by God - and we would be wise to ask for help so that our future doesn't have to be so terrible (sin and sad consequences).

If someone comes to your turf, walks up to you, and criticizes you, what is your (current) natural reaction:  Is it to feel hurt that someone so close to you is misunderstanding you; do you go on to justify yourself and disprove them?  Or is it excitement at the possibility of being able to receive more spiritual blessings from God?

The first reaction can be called defensive (I'm fine where I'm at), while the second reaction can be called upgrade-oriented (Want).

After we become Christians, I think that probably all of us go through a stage in our life where we fall back into the mental voice:  Put on your best behavior, be good enough in order to earn approval and affection. We try our best, and then we are content with where we are at. We are fine. We can't complain. We are doing better than we deserve. We are tired. It doesn't feel like abundant living because it *isn't* abundant living, and we are content to stay here. This is "good enough" and if anyone is judgmental enough to try to point out our flaws, we feel that we have every right to get upset. They are walking about looking for flaws to critique. What jerks!  We commend ourselves on our patience and good temper if we can defend ourselves to these people without losing our temper at their presumption.

But as long as we remain in this stage, we are the Laodicean church. While Jesus stands outside and knocks, we ignore the door and talk about how we are perfectly content where we are. While He counsels us to buy from Him gold refined in the fire, that we may be rich, we continue to respond: "I am rich, I have become wealthy, and I have need of nothing."  

While we are thinking, "Why is this person ripping on me?" Jesus is telling us: "As many as I love (desire to benefit), I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent (accept upgrades)."

Accepting Upgrades: Growth is *accepting* (not building) something from God.  The reason we are being confronted is not that we just need to try even harder and spread ourselves even thinner to get any appreciation, but rather that we are suffering from the lack of spiritual blessings that God is offering to us (and we are busy telling him that we are good enough).

And what is the alternative to being fine where we're at?

Jabez
"And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested."  (1 Chronicles 4:10)


Jacob
"Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him. And He said, 'Let Me go, for the day breaks.'
But he said, 'I will not let You go unless You bless me!'

...Then Jacob asked, saying, 'Tell me Your name, I pray.'
And He said, 'Why is it that you ask about My name?' And He blessed him there."   (Genesis 32)  [Extra note: Jesus Christ, Immanuel, that is the name of God. The Israelites were the first ones to meet God by name in person.]


Elisha
"And so it was, when they had crossed over, that Elijah said to Elisha, 'Ask! What may I do for you, before I am taken away from you?' Elisha said, 'Please let a double portion of your spirit be upon me.'

So he said, 'You have asked a hard thing. Nevertheless, if you see me when I am taken from you, it shall be so for you; but if not, it shall not be so.' Then it happened, as they continued on and talked, that suddenly a chariot of fire appeared with horses of fire, and separated the two of them; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven. And Elisha saw it..."    (2 Kings 2 )

What do you desire?  For me, I want God. I really really want God. I want upgrades and spiritual blessings. I know that I am loved (and therefore I don't need to be good enough). I do not focus on "good enough" and "bad," but rather "less awesome" and "more awesome." I always want to be more awesome. Therefore, I beg God for more understanding than I have now (He also uses people in this process to confront me or prove me wrong), and every time I hear of a possible flaw (which tips me off to a possible upgrade that I might now be able to access) I am happy and curious to know more details. I enjoy where I'm at in my journey, but I am never content to stay - I want MORE Jesus.

I think that God gives grace to the humble because they are the only ones who truly desire it. The proud would never acknowledge that they are spiritually poor, and therefore do not desire help.  Now, God is not stingy - He has an infinite amount of the stuff, and if you aren't using it, then that extra capacity is just going to waste.  Therefore God encourages us to ask him for things (Mt 5) and delights to give it to us when we ask.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.  - James 1:5

Dream big. Abraham dreamed of being a father of nations, since that's what his name was all about. But that dream died after he reached old age without children. In the end, though, God's plan for him was for him to be a father of nations - God was the one to plant that desire.

Desire. Ask God for more. Don't turn away potential upgrades when they are offered (in the form of painful feedback from reality, most often).

How do you know whether you desperately need more truth and a deeper relationship with Christ?  If you have a pulse, you do.  It's not a one-time transaction where you accept Christ into your life and then all your needs are met. It's an ongoing relationship - we are like a stream of water. Unless we want to become become a stagnant algae-filled swamp, we must *always* be getting more and more from God (water flowing in) and passing along to others what we ourselves have received (water flowing out).

So, people who are "fine," you need more Jesus. And, people who are very mature (maturing) and have a deep and close relationship with Christ, you need more Jesus.  It's awesome, because He wants us to want Him enough to wrestle with Him - He desires to give good things to those who would enjoy them.

Grace and Enabling

(Are you making the problem better or worse?)

Grace is a huge concept in the Bible, but I think that most people don't take  a lot of time to dive into that topic and studying the Bible to see what grace is.

“Make me understand the way of Your precepts; So shall I meditate on Your wonderful works.” Psalm 119:27

Growing up with the AWANA program, I learned a definition of grace as follows:  “A free gift that you don't deserve.” That's one basic tenant of grace that Christians generally agree upon:  Grace is unmerited – if it was merited (deserved), it would no longer be grace.  Some people will say that grace also means favor: God's grace is when God shows you favor.  But none of those definitions go deeper than that, which leaves unanswered questions, such as:  When God decides to give us favor and send us something undeserved and unmerited, what does He send us?  What IS this unmerited grace that God gives us when He shows favor?

Some people give the answer that anything God gives us that we do not deserve is grace. Like, when He sends rain and sunshine to everyone on earth, that's undeserved and therefore a form of grace. However, this answer doesn't stand up because Biblically, both blessings and grace are undeserved, and yet they are not used synonymously. The word “blessing” is used for many things, mainly extras – like, you are already doing okay, and then God gives you an extra blessing that you can praise and thank Him for.  God blesses people with children, for instance. The “grace,” on the other hand, is only used in situations where we need help and God is helping to fix that situation for us. When Noah received grace from God, it saved him from dying in a flood. When we are saved by grace, we are rescued from the sin and death we were wallowing in. In the christian life, we are told to come boldly before God's throne to find grace *in time of need.*  Blessings are unmerited extras, while grace is unmerited help/rescue.

"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16

So, when help/grace is offered, there is still a choice: God allows us to accept or reject that grace. We can receive grace in vain when we are living under grace, as Christians, yet do not accept that help – Usually because God wants to help us become sanctified and Christ-like while we are still clinging to our familiar sins and being too scared to take up our cross and follow.

"We then, as workers together with Him also plead with you not to receive the grace of God in vain." 2 Corinthians 6:1

Who benefits from grace?  Well, who benefits from free help?  Those who WANT help. In other words, only those who have humility and realize that there is a problem will even want to be rescued or helped.

"But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."  James 4:6

When the Bible says that God gives grace to the humble, it doesn't mean that God is somehow playing favorites. Rather, it means that He offers grace to those who *desire* grace.

In the Lord's prayer, He instructs us to ask God not to lead us into temptation. In this prayer, we are asking God to make right choices easier for us. We are asking for His help in keeping us on the straight and narrow.

Now, with this understanding of grace (unmerited help), we can start to make sense of the various passages of the Scripture that tell us to be gracious and to give grace to other people. What does it mean to offer grace to others?

"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Ephesians 4:29

Here, we are instructed to speak in a way that gives grace to those who hear; our speech should make it easier for others to received the edification that they need. In short, grace is opposite of temptation. Temptation makes it easier for a person to make a bad choice, while grace helps make it easier for a person to make a right choice.  All of our speech is to be gracious, and the Bible tells us to speak about doctrine, encouragement, correction, and instruction in righteousness. You'll notice that “correction” (ie godly confrontation) is included there.  Accountability and confrontation provides grace because it makes it easier for us each to learn and grow – it makes it harder for us to make wrong choices. [See also: The story of The King and His Hawk]

I remember one friend I knew who was battling an addiction. After realizing that he couldn't fight it alone, he got involved in a (very helpful and kind) men's group. Each evening, his accountability buddy would call him – and would ask if he had had any temptations in that area or had sinned in that area. (If he said no, the follow-up question would be to ask if he was lying – which sounds harsh, but it's helpful because addicts struggle also with the temptation to cover up the situation.)  Now, just *knowing* that there would be someone to hold him accountable made it tremendously easier for him to say “no” to temptation again and again, while kicking his habit. Accountability absolutely is a form of grace that helps us when we need help. None of us can do this life alone.

Both grace and condemnation start with acknowledgment that there is a problem present.  The difference is that condemnation points a finger while grace lends a hand.

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So that's grace. What is enabling?

“An enabler is someone who—despite knowing that a behavior is destructive or harmful—allows a loved one to continue to do it. It is frequently used in the context of addiction.”

“No one wants their loved ones to do things that hurt themselves. However, by excusing behavior or looking the other way, you can enable an addict to continue abusing drugs or alcohol. Enablers allow substance abusers to continue using drugs without suffering the negative consequences of their actions.”

I found a good quiz online that goes like this: Are You an Enabler?

An enabler is a person who, acting out of a sincere sense of love, loyalty and concern, steps in to protect, cover up for, make excuses for and become more responsible for the chemically dependent person. This can prevent the addicted individual from a crisis that might bring about change, and thereby prolong his or her illness. To find out if you may be an enabler, answer the following questions:

1) Do you avoid potential problems by trying to keep the peace? Do you do whatever you can to avoid conflict because doing so will solve problems?

2) Are you in denial about your loved one being addicted? Do you think his or her drug or alcohol use is just a phase and isn't anything to be concerned about?

3) Do you have a hard time expressing your feelings? Do you keep all your emotions inside? 

4) Do you minimize the situation? Do you think the problem will get better later? 

5) Do you lecture, blame or criticize the chemically dependent person? 

6) Do you take over the responsibilities of the addicted person? Do you cover for and pick up his or her slack to minimize the negative consequences? Do you repeatedly come to the rescue — bailing him or her out of jail, out of financial problems or other tight spots? 

7) Do you try to protect your addicted loved one from pain? 

8) Do you treat him or her like a child? Do you enjoy taking care of your loved one and feel superior when you do? Do you still financially support him or her, even though he or she is an adult?

9) Do you try to control the dependent person?

10) Are you good at just enduring? Do you often think, this too shall pass?

11) Do you believe in waiting? That God will take care of this?

12) Do you give him or her one more chance, then another and yet another?

13) Do you join him or her in the dangerous behavior, even when you know he or she has a problem? 

If you answered yes to even one of these questions, you may have enabling behaviors, which could be [increasing the power of addiction in the life of your loved one.]

In short, God has some grace built into the system: It's called hitting one's head up against reality. This lets you know that what you are doing isn't working and motivates change. Enablers protect the person struggling with sin – they don't protect from the sin, but rather protect from the consequences of sin. They make sure that the addict/sinner never hits their head up against reality, and therefore never has motivation to change.

Why am I comparing and contrasting grace and enabling?  Well, to start with, they are exact opposites. Grace helps people to make good decisions, while enabling makes it easier for them to make sinful choices. But furthermore, people get these two concepts confused. Those who want to show grace want to avoid stumbling people, and a few believe that enabling is the only way to avoid stumbling people. They reason that if you do something and it makes another person upset, you have stumbled that person. They preach that we should avoid potential problems by trying to keep the peace – we should avoid conflict (not because that will solve the underlying issue, but because it won't trigger their anger).

Is there truth to their viewpoint?

 “If a loved one is struggling with drug addiction, confronting your friend or family member about their addiction can be a challenging and emotional experience. At first, it may seem easier to deny that there is even a problem or to excuse your loved one’s behavior. These denials and excuses however, will only make the problem worse. Denying or excusing a loved one’s addiction enables them to continue using drugs, which hurts themselves and others.”

Ultimately, if a loved one is sinning, they need grace and not enabling.  It may seem like giving them grace (confrontation in some cases) will “stumble” them because it will arouse their anger.  Let me share an analogy:


A friend comes to visit a farmer on a rainy day. After being invited inside, he notices that there is a hole in the roof, and rain is dripping into the living room. “Why do you do something about that hole?” he asks his farmer friend. “Oh but it's raining right now,” the farmer replies, “I can't go on the roof because it's slippery.”  This is a good point, and so the friend drops the topic and enjoys the rest of the visit.

A week later, the friend visits again. It's a bright and sunny day, but when he goes inside, he notices that the hole is still present. “Why didn't you fix that hole in your roof?” he asks. “Well, it's not raining,” the farmer explains, “there's no need!”

Now the question of the story is this:  When would be the right time for the farmer to fix the roof?  Obviously, it would be when it's sunny outside and there is “no need” because the problem is not causing any symptoms (no leakage). Those who claim that triggering anger is stumbling a person mistakes the problem (heart problem) with the symptom (anger). They think that by avoiding the symptom and preventing consequences, then things are great – the hole in the roof (heart problem) isn't a problem as long it's not raining (symptoms), right?  Right guys?

The issue IS a heart issue, though, all sin is. If you are gracious and they get angry at you, that's a symptom of that underlying heart condition. To avoid confrontation and accountability (Biblical forms of grace) will irritate the symptom less, but it will enable the heart problem to get worse. If you go out of your way to protect someone from the symptoms of their issue (including anger), you are a textbook case of an enabler who prevents the sinning individual from a crisis that might bring about change, and thereby strengthens the power of sin in that person's life.

That's not grace. That's not offering help. That's not making a righteous choice easier. Rather, enabling makes wrong choices easier and offers to whitewash the world instead of washing the world. Chesterton wrote that one who is not truly loyal will “be less inclined to the reform of things; more inclined to a sort of front-bench official answer to all attacks, soothing every one with assurances. He will not wash the world, but whitewash the world.”

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Galatians 2:17
“But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is Christ therefore a minister of sin? Certainly not!”

In other words:

“Seeking Christ includes increasing the knowledge of our own sin – does this (increase in knowledge of sin) increase sin? Certainly not!”

Grace often increases knowledge of sin, but it does not increase sin itself. In fact, grace is the only way out of sin.


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A Tale of Truth and Loyalty

The King and His Hawk

GENGHIS KHAN was a great king and warrior.

He led his army into China and Persia, and he conquered many lands. In every country, men told about his daring deeds; and they said that since Alexander the Great there had been no king like him.

One morning when he was home from the wars, he rode out into the woods to have a day's sport. Many of his friends were with him. They rode out gayly, carrying their bows and arrows. Behind them came the servants with the hounds.

It was a merry hunting party. The woods rang with their shouts and laughter. They expected to carry much game home in the evening.

On the king's wrist sat his favorite hawk; for in those days hawks were trained to hunt. At a word from their masters they would fly high up into the air, and look around for prey. If they chanced to see a deer or a rabbit, they would swoop down upon it swift as any arrow.

All day long Genghis Khan and his huntsmen rode through the woods. But they did not find as much game as they expected.

Toward evening they started for home. The king had often ridden through the woods, and he knew all the paths. So while the rest of the party took the nearest way, he went by a longer road through a valley between two mountains.

The day had been warm, and the king was very thirsty. His pet hawk had left his wrist and flown away. It would be sure to find its way home.

The king rode slowly along. He had once seen a spring of clear water near this pathway. If he could only find it now! But the hot days of summer had dried up all the mountain brooks.

At last, to his joy, he saw some water trickling down over the edge of a rock. He knew that there was a spring farther up. In the wet season, a swift stream of water always poured down here; but now it came only one drop at a time.

The king leaped from his horse. He took a little silver cup from his hunting bag. He held it so as to catch the slowly falling drops.

It took a long time to fill the cup; and the king was so thirsty that he could hardly wait. At last it was nearly full. He put the cup to his lips, and was about to drink.

All at once there was a whirring sound in the air, and the cup was knocked from his hands. The water was all spilled upon the ground.

The king looked up to see who had done this thing. It was his pet hawk. The hawk flew back and forth a few times, and then alighted among the rocks by the spring. The king picked up the cup, and again held it to catch the trickling drops.

This time he did not wait so long. When the cup was half full, he lifted it toward his mouth. But before it had touched his lips, the hawk swooped down again, and knocked it from his hands.

And now the king began to grow angry. He tried again; and for the third time the hawk kept him from drinking.

The king was now very angry indeed.

"How do you dare to act so?" he cried. "If I had you in my hands, I would wring your neck!"

Then he filled the cup again. But before he tried to drink, he drew his sword.

"Now, Sir Hawk," he said, "this is the last time."

He had hardly spoken, before the hawk swooped down and knocked the cup from his hand. But the king was looking for this. With a quick sweep of the sword he struck the bird as it passed.
The next moment the poor hawk lay bleeding and dying at its master's feet.

"That is what you get for your pains," said Genghis Khan.

But when he looked for his cup he found that it had fallen between two rocks, where he could not reach it.

"At any rate, I will have a drink from that spring," he said to himself.

With that he began to climb the steep bank to the place from which the water trickled. It was hard work, and the higher he climbed, the thirstier he became.

At last he reached the place. There indeed was a pool of water; but what was that lying in the pool, and almost filling it? It was a huge, dead snake of the most poisonous kind.

The king stopped. He forgot his thirst. He thought only of the poor dead bird lying on the ground below him.


"The hawk saved my life!" he cried; "and how did I repay him? He was my best friend, and I have killed him."

He clambered down the bank. He took the bird up gently, and laid it in his hunting bag. Then he mounted his horse and rode swiftly home. He said to himself,—

 "I have learned a sad lesson to-day; and that is, never to do anything in anger."

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What I get out of the story is this:  Sometimes, being a loyal friend means being the hawk - Being the friend who is willing to try to communicate truth to a friend, in order to protect him, even when it means putting yourself in the line of fire.

Christ is a Gentleman

In life, we are with God. We get to enjoy His creation, His domain, and His grace.

But we start off dead to Him - separated from Him - not connected with Him.

And we need to be connected to Him to live. Just like our spirit must be connected to our body to live.

He loves us and pursues us, and He offers salvation and connection - BUT He will only go ahead and connect with us if we accept Him. If we chooses to stop pushing away and telling us no.

Because He's a gentleman.

He's the One who decided that "no means no" is a good boundary to have. 

Forgiveness - What is it? How does one do it?

Jesus told the parable of the debtor who was forgiven a humongous amount of money, and then goes and throws another man into prison for owing $50. It's about forgiveness, but the connection between the monetary debt and true forgiveness is not always obvious.

Sin has a cost, and when someone sins against us, we pay a price for someone else's sin. Forgiveness is what makes that voluntary - forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another’s sin. Forgiveness means that we don't want to "make them pay" later, to reimburse us for that price we had to pay because of their sin.

Neil Anderson spells out this concept very well. I first read this as a teenager, and forgiving other people, with this understanding of forgiveness, was one of the most freeing things I have ever done in my life. So, now I am passing it along to all of you:

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"We need to forgive others so that Satan cannot take advantage of us (2 Corinthians 2:10,11). We need to be merciful just as our heavenly Father is merciful (Luke 6:36). We are to forgive as we have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:31,32). Ask God to bring to your mind those people whom you need to forgive by expressing the following prayer aloud:

        Dear Heavenly Father,

        I thank You for the riches of Your kindness, forbearance and patience, knowing that your kindness has led me to repentance (Romans 2:4). I confess that I have not extended that same patience and kindness toward others who have offended me, but instead I have harbored bitterness and resentment. I pray that during this time of self-examination You would bring to mind only those people whom I have not forgiven in order that I may do so (Matthew 18:35). I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Forgiveness is not forgetting. People who try to forget find they cannot. God says He will "remember our sins no more" (Hebrews 10:17), but God, being omniscient, cannot forget. "Remember no more" means that God will never use the past against us (Psalm 103:12). Forgetting may be the result of forgiveness, but it is never the means of forgiveness. When we bring up the past of others, we are saying we haven’t forgiven them.

Forgiveness is a choice, a crisis of the will. Since God requires us to forgive, it is something we can do. But forgiveness is difficult for us because it pulls against our concept of justice. We want revenge for the offenses suffered. But we are told never to take our own revenge (Romans 12:19). "Why should I let them off the hook?" you may ask. That is precisely the problem -- you are still hooked on them, still bound to your past. You let them off the hook, but they are never off God’s. He will deal with them fairly -- something we cannot do.

"But you don’t understand how much this person hurt me!" you may protest. But you don’t see, they are still hurting you! How do you stop the pain? You don’t forgive someone for their sake; you do it for your sake so you can be free. Your need to forgive isn’t an issue between you and the offender; it’s between you and God.

Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another’s sin. Forgiveness is costly. You pay the price of the evil you forgive. You’re going to live with those consequences whether you want to or not; your choice is whether you will do so in the bitterness of unforgiveness. Jesus took the consequences of your sin upon Himself. All true forgiveness is substitutional because no one really forgives without bearing the consequences of another person’s sin. God the Father "made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him" (2 Corinthians 5:21). Where is the justice? It’s the cross that makes forgiveness legally and morally right: "For the death that He died, He died to sin, once for all" (Romans 6:10).

How do you forgive from the heart? First, you acknowledge that hurt and the hate. If your forgiveness doesn’t visit the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete. Many feel the pain of interpersonal offenses but they won’t acknowledge it. Let God bring the pain to the surface so He can deal with it. That is where the healing takes place.

Decide that you will bear the burden of your offender’s offenses by not using the information about their offenses against them [IE to tear them down] in the future. This doesn’t mean that you tolerate sin. You must always take a stand against sin. But don’t wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving; you will never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made and Satan has lost his place (Ephesians 4: 26-27). Freedom is what will be gained, not a feeling.

For each person on your list, say aloud: Lord, I forgive (name) for (specially identify all offenses and painful memories [and even ongoing effects]). Don’t say, "Lord, please help me to forgive," because He is already helping you. Don’t say, "Lord, I want to forgive," because you are bypassing the hard-core choice to forgive, which is your responsibility. Stay with each individual until you are sure you have dealt with all the remembered pain.

As you pray, God may bring to mind offending people and experiences you have totally forgotten. Let Him do it, even if it is painful. Remember, you are doing this for your sake. God wants you to be free. Don’t rationalize or explain the offender’s behavior. Forgiveness deals with your pain, not other’s excuses. Positive feelings will follow in time; freeing yourself from the past is the critical issue."

                                  From Released From Bondage, by Neil T. Anderson
                                                               [Brackets words added by me]

Your Brain's Native Language

Suppose you know a person who speaks both English and French, but French is their native and primary language. If you wanted to communicate with them, you could choose either to talk to them in English or in French – either way would get the message across to some degree. But, suppose that you want to make your message easy for them to understand, then communication in French would be considered preference in regard to this goal. Fundamentally, we understand things most easily when they are communicated in our preferred language. 

That's pretty straight-forward. But I'm going to get into something slightly deeper: Your sub-conscious mind has a native language of it's own.

Primarily, we perceive the world around us through 5 senses: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, taste, and smell. These are the primary ways that we mentally represent reality, and these representations also give meaning to the language that we use to internalize or describe our experiences. That's a lot of long words to describe something simple: There is something in reality, I see that thing, and I create a mental visual representation of that object, and maybe even attach a name to that picture.

Here's the amazing thing, though: when people think about non-physical concepts, they also use these sensory-based representational systems to conceptualize it in their head. For example, if I want agreement with someone, I could say: “Do you *see* what I mean?” or “I *hear* what you're saying” or “I just want to be *on the same page* here.”

“On the same page”? We've just taken the invisible concept of agreement and conceptualized it using three different sensory systems. Your brain (and everyone else's) does this *all* the time. What varies is which sensory representational system people prefer. The three most common are visual, auditory, and tactile(kinesthetic, spacial). One of them is your brain's native language – the language it uses to make sense of the world.

When I first learning about this concept, I was fascinated to discover that me and my husband speak different mental “native languages.” I am much more visual. Every time I come across a concept, it's “Do you see what I mean?” or “from this viewpoint, you can see that this makes sense...” or “look at it this way.” Very visual metaphors that I constantly use without consciously thinking about it. My husband, though, thinks in spacial, tactile terms. With him, it's more about “coming across,” “steam rolling,” “finding common ground,” “where the rubber meets the road,” and so on.

Of course, no one sticks to just one type of metaphor, but each person usually has one type that they primarily prefer and use. If you listen to the language that people use, (or look at what they type), then you can notice if they primarily use visual, auditory, or tactile metaphors, and then you'd know what their brain's native language is. Is this helpful information? Absolutely, if you plan to communicate with them and want your message to be easily understood. When you know what their preferred representational system is, you can use those types of phrases and metaphors when talking with them. After all, we all understand things most easily when they are communicated in our preferred language.

Visual language examples: I see what you're saying That looks good That idea isn't clear My mind just went blank Cast some light on the subject Get a new perspective/point of view/view point An insightful/enlightening/colorful example Tunnel vision In light of Get the picture Eye to eye Beyond the shadow of a doubt See to it In view of Catch a glimpse Mind's eye Mental picture Brilliant Oversight

Auditory language examples: I hear you That rings a bell Sounds good to me Everything just suddenly clicked Listen to me In harmony with Something tells me not to Harping on That resonates with me Word for word Voice an opinion Unheard of Call on Tuned out

Tactile language examples: Grasp the concept Get a handle on it Pull yourself together A solid understanding I'm up against a wall I have a feeling you're right All comes down to this Get in touch with Where the rubber meets the road Change your standpoint Insensitive Come up with Underhanded Come to grips with On the right track One step at a time Pull some strings Sharp as a tack On your toes A heated argument Under my skin Hit the nail on the head Off-the-cuff Crossing a line

This list is obviously not a complete list, but I hope that it includes enough to help you start seeing the patterns of language that can be used.  One fun thing to do is to listen to various songs, and notice which type of metaphor is used most frequently within that song.  Very fun.

John 17: Why did Jesus pray for the Elect only?

Easter was celebrated this most recent Sunday, and I love having Holidays set aside specifically to celebrate Christ's birth and Christ's resurrection: Celebrating Christ's purpose on this earth, and celebrating the completion of that purpose. Of course, we celebrate Christ's resurrection every week implicitly, but setting aside one day to focus on that one event is more than appropriate. In the Old Testament, God had His people setting aside many days a year for sacred feasting and celebration.

Leading up to Easter, I heard the reading of the full chapter of John 17, which is a record of Jesus' prayer the night before He was crucified. In this prayer, Jesus prays for His own glorification, for His disciples which the Father had given Him, and for all who would believe in Him in the future. I feel that there is no way to summarize the chapter and do it justice, so I recommend that you read the chapter itself in addition to simply reading this blog about it.

Noteworthy quotes (in order):

For Himself:

“Father, the hour has come. Glorify Your Son, that Your Son also may glorify You, as You have given Him authority over all flesh, that He should give eternal life to as many as You have given Him.”

For His earthly disciples:

“I pray for them. I do not pray for the world but for those whom You have given Me, for they are Yours. And all Mine are Yours, and Yours are Mine, and I am glorified in them.”

“But now I come to You, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have My joy fulfilled in themselves.”

“As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they also may be sanctified by the truth.”

For all future believers:

“I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; hat they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us,”

“...that the world may believe that You sent Me.”

“Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me”

Before I move one, I just want to highlight a few notes here. Jesus prays for the Father to glorify Him, states that He is glorified through His disciples, prays for the whole world to see that God sent Him, and states that He wants those who are His specifically to behold His glory. The glorification of Christ is a main theme here, and a main request from Christ to His Father right before His own death.

Also, we see repeatedly that believers are also those whom God the Father has given to Christ – this is speaking of the past, present, and future elect – the ones who will believe in Christ, and are predestined from the foundation of the earth to be conformed into the image of Christ. I believe that God elects individuals, and elects them conditionally (upon belief). For those who would like to debate whether election is conditional or unconditional, I will save that topic for another time because it is not actually addressed in this specific passage.

Thirdly, Christ prays for His disciples in this world that they would have His joy, that they would be sanctified, and that all future believers would experience unity with the Trinity, even as He experiences it. In His prayer for the blessings of joy and sanctification to be given, Jesus explicitly excludes "the world" of nonbelievers. Later in his prayer, He specifically for the whole world in the capacity of them ultimately believing that He is from God. There is some debate as to whether He is praying for them to believe in Him as Lord (and thus repent and be saved) or referring to the end times when every knee will bow and every tongue confess - yet because they have to, and do not repent.

Now here's the question:

Why did Jesus only pray for the elect, and not for the whole world?

I've had many Calvinists argue that Jesus only died for the elect, and only loves (in the sense of desiring the well-being of) the elect. To prove it, they point to this passage and say something to the effect of:

“If Jesus died for all, He would have prayed for all. If He had desired for the world to be saved, He would have prayed for the world here. But He doesn't. He specifically excludes the world. The *only possible reason* for this is that He does not want all to be saved, and did not die for all.”

In this blog, I will address that argument. I will not be addressing other arguments, such as “If God picks people, it must be unconditional, so this passage clearly teaches unconditional election,” or “there are other passages which prove that Christ did not die for all,” or “if Jesus died for all, then He secured the salvation of no one.” I will not be addressing any of those argument in this blog. Some of these topics I have already written about in other blogs, and some I have not yet written about. But you can't tackle everything all at once – you have to address one point at a time. So the point I am addressing is the claim that the only possible reason for Jesus to pray only for the elect before He died is that He only died for the elect and did not want everyone in the world to come to repentance and be saved.

Right off the bat, let's list a few possible reasons for Jesus to only pray for the elect in that situation:

Possible reason #1 – He was not able to die for the whole world, and therefore did not pray for them, and specifically excluded them. He was able to die for the elect only, and therefore prayed for them only. Not praying for the world means that Jesus did not desire the salvation of the world.

Possible reason #2 - Christ was praying for specific blessings upon those who were His; obviously He wouldn't do X-and-such spiritually blessing to those who don't believe.

Possible reason #3 - The Lamb of God has an extra special love for those who are His, and still cares about those who He was not praying for at the time.

Possible reason #4 - Jesus was about to die, and was looking forward to the joy set before Him: His own glorification and the salvation, oneness with, and blessing upon those who would benefit from the cross: the elect, the bride of Christ.

Which of these possibilities are plausible, implausible, or supported by other Scriptures?

The first possibility seems rather doubtful in the light of some other Scriptures. I'll try not to bore you, so I'll just list a few that seem to contradict the first theory:

Does God love the world?

“For God so loved the world... For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” (John 3:16-17)

“And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world.” (1 John 4:14)

Does God want all to be saved?

“Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish” (Matthew 18:14)

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men...” (Titus 2:11)

“For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” (1 Timothy 2:3-4)

Did Christ really die for all, or just the elect?

“This man came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all through him might believe.” (John 1:7)

“For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves...” (2 Corinthians 5:14-15)

“For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time,” (1 Timothy 2:5-6)

“For to this end we both labor and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of those who believe.” (1 Timothy 4:10)

“But we see Jesus, who... by the grace of God, might taste death for everyone.” (Hebrews 2:9)

And finally, this reason is founded upon the idea that Jesus did not pray for the world. It is certainly true that in part of the prayer He did not pray for the world. It is also true that in part of the prayer, He did pray for the world, that they would at least believe that He is from God (though repentance is not specifically mentioned):

“...that they [future believers] all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.” (John 17:21)

Now, based on those passages and many others, possible reason #1 seems rather implausible, simply because it would contradict so many other passages. And we know that God does not contradict Himself. What about the other possibilities?

CONTINUE TO PAGE 2

John 17: Why did Jesus pray for the Elect only? Part II

Possible reason #2 - Christ was praying for specific blessings upon those who were His; obviously He wouldn't do X-and-such spiritually blessing to those who don't believe.

This actually seems pretty plausible. There any many blessings (and salvation!) that are offered only to believers. Paul, in fact, here in Ephesians, prays specifically for blessings upon believers only:

“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Eph. 3:14-19)

Yet, this does not mean or imply that Paul did not also care about and pray for non-believers at other times:

“Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior...” (1 Tim. 2:1-3)

In His prayer for the blessings of joy and sanctification, Jesus specifically says that He is praying for His disciples and not for the world. Later, though, He prays that the world might believe that He is from the Father; He did pray for the whole world, then, just not in the context of those specific blessings. How could a non-believer be sanctified, or experience unity with God? Those blessings are reserved for believers.

Possible reason #3 - The Lamb of God has an extra special love for those who are His, and still cares about those who He was not praying for at the time.

Given that the church is the bride of Christ, it is certain that He has a special love for them. All others will be cast into hell, but those who believe in Christ are one with Him, and He blesses them richly in this life and the next, working together all things for good for them. Special love:

“I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.” (John 17:23)

But one can have a specific love for one, while still caring for others. I have a special love for my husband, but I still agape-love all other men, and would rescue one if I saw him dying and was able to save Him. As my little brother said, on this topic, “Just because I send a letter to my family (special love) does not mean I don't care about everyone else.”

Paul pronounced and prayed for many special blessings solely on believers, and yet also cared and prayed for everyone. Does God also care for everyone? According to the Bible, yes.

“For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” (1 Timothy 2:3-4)

So reason number #3 is also Scripturally plausible. Christ not only reserves specific blessings for those who believe, but also has a special love for His own.

Possible reason #4 - Jesus was about to die, and was looking forward to the joy set before Him: His own glorification and the salvation, oneness with, and blessing upon those who would benefit from the cross: the elect, the bride of Christ.

Now, most of the other possible reasons don't look specifically at the timing of this prayer. Jesus was sweating drops of blood that night. The next day, He would experience an excruciating death, the weight of the sin of the world, and separation from His beloved Father. How did He get through this time? This mystery is revealed for us in Hebrews:

“...looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)

Now, if Jesus died to provide salvation for all, and only to procure salvation for the elect (just like the serpent in the wilderness which provided healing for all who were bitten, but only enacted healing toward those who looked at all, see John 3), in which part is the joy found?

Is the joy the glorification and the unity, joy, and sanctification of those who would benefit from the cross? Or is the joy found in those who would reject the provision and wind up justly in hell?

I would say, without a doubt, that the joy would be found (in addition to His glorification) in His bride, in the ones who would benefit and be saved. The joy would not be found in those who reject the work and die eternally – there is justice there, but not joy. Jesus prayed for the world to believe, but that was one statement. The majority of the chapter was focused on Christ's glorification in general, and on blessings for and unity with His elect. That was His focus.

Therefore, it makes perfect sense that as Jesus approached His death, He focused on and looked forward to the JOY set before Him, which was not found in those who would never believe, but would be found in His multi-fold glorification, in the joy and sanctification of His disciples, and of the love and unity between Him and the Father and all future believers – the bride of Christ.

There is the joy that He looked forward to, as He approached the cross. This reason is more than plausible, it is confirmed by Hebrews, which explains Christ's focus on that difficult night.

And if two reasons are found to be plausible, and one is found to be confirmed, then the claim that the first reason is the “only possible” reason must be entirely false.

.

Spanking: Appropriate or Harmful?

Note: As a student pursuing my Bachelors in Psychology, the topic was sure to come up. So here are some of my thoughts, as presented in a paper I was assigned to write.

Some studies lump all types of spanking and corporal punishment together, and have shown that, all together, it's not emotionally or psychologically healthy for children. One study discriminated a bit more between types of corporal punishment, based on frequency and intensity, and discovered that occasional and mild spanking of preschoolers is harmless.(Ballie, 2001) Studies that discriminate more between types of corporal punishment are needed to debunk the myth that all spanking is either abusive or damaging to the child. True abuse is defined as follows: the willful infliction of a cruel or inhuman corporal punishment or any injury that results in a traumatic condition.(California "Child Abuse" & Corporal Injury Laws, n.d.)

Now I need address the following terms, for the sake of clarity: discipline, punishment, positive discipline, and corporal punishment. Discipline is the process of teaching someone and raising them up to follow a specific path; this is similar to discipling someone, or discipleship. The word discipline, though, is most often used to refer to negative consequences that lead to appropriate learning. Positive discipline is a subset of discipline, and refers only to discipline that helps children feel connected, is respectful and encouraging, is effective in the long-term, teaches, and invited children to discover their capabilities.(About Positive Discipline, n.d.) Punishment, on the other hand, is more of “this for that,” or “an eye for an eye.” The attitude of “You destroyed my property, so I will hurt you.” This is a different motivation from the desire to train up a child. Finally, corporal punishment is the intentional infliction of physical pain, and can be for punishment or discipline, and can be harsh or gentle.

Today, in fact, a news article came out surrounding a situation in which this very question came up: At what point does discipline move from corporal punishment to physical abuse? A video of a Texas judge beating his 16-year-old daughter with his belt went viral, and while some think that it's acceptable discipline, a large group of people have responded with outrage.(http://www.fmnewschicago.com/news/local/story.aspx?ID=1565910) I think that the situation fell on the side of “physical abuse” rather than appropriate discipline. Where is the line drawn? I believe that the line should be drawn with consideration to six aspects:

• Length/Intensity: Obviously, if a spanking is too long, it no longer serves the purpose of teaching or training, but just inflicts pain. A seemingly endless spanking also can quality as cruel and can result in a traumatic condition. An appropriate length might be 4 swats, or for a really serious offense, 12, but not more than that. Intensity refers to how hard the child is hit, and with what instrument. Belts and wooden items are much more dangerous than hands or rods which are flexible and designed not to cause damage to a child. However, on very young children, even a flexible rob would be way too intense.

• Anger: This is extremely important. Disciplining a child in anger does sever the connection there, destroys trust, and is more about calming the parent than growing and teaching the child. The example given, that “a parent might lose patience, respond with anger, and spank the child” would be completely inappropriate. If the parent is angry, they must wait until they are not angry before attempting any manner of discipline, save for restraint.

• Unpredictability: I also cannot overemphasize the importance of this aspect. There are two elements of predictability. The first element is that the child knows that a spanking will follow, if they break whatever rule is involved. The spanking cannot be a surprise, or it seems unjust. Additionally, it's very important that the child know how long the spanking will be. There's a huge difference between 4 swats and 39, and if the child doesn't know which they are going to get, it can be completely terrifying and leave the child feeling powerless. Predictable punishment, though, seems much more reasonable and just to a child.

• Purpose: This goes back to the whole discipline/punishment idea. If the purpose is to train the child, the child senses that, and it's part of the connection between parent and child. It will also lead to reasonable measures of discipline which are only designed to help the child. For instance, at the of time of discipline, the parent should talk over with the child what was done wrong, why it was wrong, what should be done differently in the future, and should address the child's thoughts about any difficulties that might get in the way of better behavior in the future. If the purpose is punitive, the child will sense this also, and is more likely to be resentful. Also, the punishments are more likely to be unreasonable, and based on the irritation of the adult. Additionally, it should never be about control, but about teaching and growth.

• Opportunity for reconciliation: After discipline, it's important that the child have the opportunity to receive comfort and reconnect with the adult, and feel completely forgiven. Re-establishing this connection is crucial to the child's development and feeling of being loved and belonging. This helps let the child know that he or she is loved and accepted, even though the behavior in question was not acceptable.

• Age: The question of “when is a child too old to be spanked” is a good question. I don't know exactly, and I think it would depend on the maturity level of the child. Ultimately, though, as children grow to be adolescents, pre-teens, and teenagers, the dynamic between parent and child changes. It's no longer just a “command-obey” sort of relationship. Young adults are trying to figure out who they are, as separate from their parents. Spanking pre-teens and teens can be devastating to the relationship, and can cause humiliation, mental distress, and embarrassment. It breaks trust and leads to a lack of respect.

These are the six aspects that mark the difference between long-term effective and ineffective physical punishment, and between abuse that tears a child down and discipline that builds the child up. I have based this on reading I have done, and also on a lot of personal experience and things that I have personally witnessed in the lives of others. More research needs to be done regarding spanking, and it needs to be research that discriminated between the types of spankings. For example, angry spanking should not be measured together with calm and forewarned discipline. Needless to say, though, there are many other methods that can be used to train and to discipline children besides corporal punishment. Having the child practice a better way of doing things, giving the child additional chores, time-outs, having the child make restitution or apologize, having the child do 10 pushups, or other techniques can also be precisely what is needed.

References:

About Positive Discipline. (n.d.). Positive Discipline - Solutions for Parents and Teachers to reate Respectful Relationships in Homes and Schools. Retrieved November 4, 2011, from http://www.positivediscipline.com/what-is-positive-discipline.html

Argosy University, (2010). Module 1. Retrieved on October 30, 2011 from www.myeclassonline.com

Ballie, R. (2001). Spanking study gets big play in the media. American Psychological Association (APA). Retrieved November 3, 2011, from http://www.apa.org/monitor/dec01/spanking.aspx

California "Child Abuse" & Corporal Injury Laws | Penal Code 273d pc. (n.d.). California

Dowd, N. E., Singer, D. G., & Wilson, R. F. (2006). Handbook of children, culture, and violence. Thousand Oaks: SAGE Publications.

Marshall, M. J. (n.d.). Stop Spanking. Stop Spanking. Retrieved November 3, 2011, from http://www.stopspanking.com/

VIDEO: Family law judge beats his disabled daughter over downloaded music. - Local News - FM News 101.1 - Chicago. (2011). Home - FM News 101.1 - Chicago. Retrieved November 4, 2011, from http://www.fmnewschicago.com/news/local/story.aspx?ID=1565910

Two Brothers (Civil War)

This one song has been going around in my head today. The first time I heard this song, I absolutely loved it. I was at Disneyland for New Years, and I saw the "Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln" show, which included most of this song. While Lincoln was for the civil war, obviously, and the show seemed to back that very strongly, it also very heartfelt and touched on the tragedy of war... especially civil war. Lincoln constantly mentioned God, and the reason he fought was so that people could have liberty. Yet also remember Robert E Lee, who was a strong christian as well, yet fought for the south. In the end, perhaps the USA has less liberty because the government ended up with more power. Yet the South, who wanted liberty from government was unwilling to give liberty to those they "owned." This particular song is about two brothers who, having different political beliefs, joined opposite armies. As brothers, they must have had great affection for each other, and yet they fought for something they valued more than life itself: their ideals. It's really quite heartbreaking that both, so sincere, would be in a position where they would have to be mortal enemies that way.

Why was it on my mind? Well, besides being a beautifully haunting song, I was thinking about a similar topic. Last night I was talking to a friend of mine. A friend who I respect very much, and who I have a lot in common with. Very few people are as passionate about truth as I am. He is one of them. We both love truth, even hard truth, and are willing to stand for what we believe against all opposition. Both of us are also very sincere, wholehearted, and sensitive to what people say to us. It's hurtful when a fellow christian says that you propagate heresy, that you pervert the gospel, or that you are making god in your own image. I could recite hundreds of sincere but harsh things christians say to those they sincerely disagree with about really big issues. We are not called to be divisive, and it's sad when even non-divisive people are harsh with their words. But even beyond that, when we are all loving each other and getting along, it's still sad. One person pours their life into supporting and teaching one ideal, and their brother pours their life into teaching against those teachings. I mentioned that me and my friend have a lot in common. We both love Christ with all our hearts. The difference between us? He is as sincerely for calvinism as I am against it. Siblings in Christ, and yet we stand for different ideals. It all reminded me of this song, and so all today today it's been going around in my head. All day, I would be doing stuff like putting stickers on envelops, and in my head, I'd be remembering cannonballs and kindness.

Here's the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgGcwBH6kFw
Another version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4LI5y2QxSk

Two Brothers:
Two brothers on their way
Two brothers on their way
Two brothers on their way
One wore blue and one wore grey

One wore blue and one wore grey
As they marched along their way
The fife and drum began to play
All on a beautiful morning

One was gentle, one was kind
One was gentle, one was kind
One came home, one stayed behind
A cannonball don't pay no mind

A cannonball don't pay no mind
If you're gentle or if you're kind
It don't think of the folks behind
All on a beautiful morning

Two girls waitin' by the railroad track
Two girls waitin' by the railroad track
For their darlin's to come back
One wore blue and one wore black

One wore blue and one wore black
Waiting by the railroad track
For their darlin's to come back
All on a beautiful morning

All on a beautiful morning...

Confrontation (A Poem)

Sometimes you'll feel hurt
And perhaps angry too -
But before you confront them
Here's what you should do -

First check your own heart once
Or better yet, twice -
Make sure there's no malice
Mixed with your advice -

You need to forgive
Yes, before you go talk -
Or your heart will be hateful
And hard as a rock -

Then try to be humble
Before you condemn -
You could be the problem
It might not be them -

Don't go by opinion
But go by what's true -
You think that you're right
That's what they think too!

So go read the Bible
Which is Wisdom's book -
Do you know what it says?
Let's go take a look -

If the Scriptures say they are wrong
You know it's right -
But then hold your horses
And don't start a fight -

You are not enemies, though that's
How it may seem -
You're together in Christ
And that makes you a team -
_____________________________
Now it will be hard,
And it won't be much fun -
But pull them aside and
Talk one on one -

Be firm when you tell them
The truth that you see -
Also be quick to listen to
Their humble plea -

Perhaps things were not
All that they seemed to be -
The other perspective
Might just be the key -

Never say "Silence!
I Kill You!" no no -
Hold love in your heart
They're your friend, not your foe -

Now if they read the Bible
Quite different than you -
Respect their belief
It's the kind thing to do -

They are not rebelling
Against the Most High -
Their thoughts are sincere,
And they don't mean to lie -

Don't call them stupid
Stubborn or dumb -
Why not just be nice?
And give them some gum?

Bless your opponent
Yes, bless and don't curse -
See, odds are in favor
Of you being worse!
____________________________
But if they won't listen,
And show you the door -
Go out and bring witnesses,
Two or three more -

At this point, if they still
Refuse to agree -
Then bring the church elders
For them to go see -

However, if they start to see
All their wrongs -
Do not dance a jig
Singing victory songs -

No, do not just blame them
And harp on their flaws -
But show them the way
To obey all God's laws -

If you look for virtue,
Then virtue you'll find -
Train them in righteousness
Gently and kind -

Show patience and tough love
For all their mistakes -
You might be surprised
At the difference it makes -
____________________________
Your sins are paid for
Your eternity set -
But loving each other
Is still our good debt -

Forgive those who sin
And forgiveness you'll get -
And always remember
Or else you'll forget!