Your Brain's Native Language

Suppose you know a person who speaks both English and French, but French is their native and primary language. If you wanted to communicate with them, you could choose either to talk to them in English or in French – either way would get the message across to some degree. But, suppose that you want to make your message easy for them to understand, then communication in French would be considered preference in regard to this goal. Fundamentally, we understand things most easily when they are communicated in our preferred language. 

That's pretty straight-forward. But I'm going to get into something slightly deeper: Your sub-conscious mind has a native language of it's own.

Primarily, we perceive the world around us through 5 senses: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, taste, and smell. These are the primary ways that we mentally represent reality, and these representations also give meaning to the language that we use to internalize or describe our experiences. That's a lot of long words to describe something simple: There is something in reality, I see that thing, and I create a mental visual representation of that object, and maybe even attach a name to that picture.

Here's the amazing thing, though: when people think about non-physical concepts, they also use these sensory-based representational systems to conceptualize it in their head. For example, if I want agreement with someone, I could say: “Do you *see* what I mean?” or “I *hear* what you're saying” or “I just want to be *on the same page* here.”

“On the same page”? We've just taken the invisible concept of agreement and conceptualized it using three different sensory systems. Your brain (and everyone else's) does this *all* the time. What varies is which sensory representational system people prefer. The three most common are visual, auditory, and tactile(kinesthetic, spacial). One of them is your brain's native language – the language it uses to make sense of the world.

When I first learning about this concept, I was fascinated to discover that me and my husband speak different mental “native languages.” I am much more visual. Every time I come across a concept, it's “Do you see what I mean?” or “from this viewpoint, you can see that this makes sense...” or “look at it this way.” Very visual metaphors that I constantly use without consciously thinking about it. My husband, though, thinks in spacial, tactile terms. With him, it's more about “coming across,” “steam rolling,” “finding common ground,” “where the rubber meets the road,” and so on.

Of course, no one sticks to just one type of metaphor, but each person usually has one type that they primarily prefer and use. If you listen to the language that people use, (or look at what they type), then you can notice if they primarily use visual, auditory, or tactile metaphors, and then you'd know what their brain's native language is. Is this helpful information? Absolutely, if you plan to communicate with them and want your message to be easily understood. When you know what their preferred representational system is, you can use those types of phrases and metaphors when talking with them. After all, we all understand things most easily when they are communicated in our preferred language.

Visual language examples: I see what you're saying That looks good That idea isn't clear My mind just went blank Cast some light on the subject Get a new perspective/point of view/view point An insightful/enlightening/colorful example Tunnel vision In light of Get the picture Eye to eye Beyond the shadow of a doubt See to it In view of Catch a glimpse Mind's eye Mental picture Brilliant Oversight

Auditory language examples: I hear you That rings a bell Sounds good to me Everything just suddenly clicked Listen to me In harmony with Something tells me not to Harping on That resonates with me Word for word Voice an opinion Unheard of Call on Tuned out

Tactile language examples: Grasp the concept Get a handle on it Pull yourself together A solid understanding I'm up against a wall I have a feeling you're right All comes down to this Get in touch with Where the rubber meets the road Change your standpoint Insensitive Come up with Underhanded Come to grips with On the right track One step at a time Pull some strings Sharp as a tack On your toes A heated argument Under my skin Hit the nail on the head Off-the-cuff Crossing a line

This list is obviously not a complete list, but I hope that it includes enough to help you start seeing the patterns of language that can be used.  One fun thing to do is to listen to various songs, and notice which type of metaphor is used most frequently within that song.  Very fun.

Spanking: Appropriate or Harmful?

Note: As a student pursuing my Bachelors in Psychology, the topic was sure to come up. So here are some of my thoughts, as presented in a paper I was assigned to write.

Some studies lump all types of spanking and corporal punishment together, and have shown that, all together, it's not emotionally or psychologically healthy for children. One study discriminated a bit more between types of corporal punishment, based on frequency and intensity, and discovered that occasional and mild spanking of preschoolers is harmless.(Ballie, 2001) Studies that discriminate more between types of corporal punishment are needed to debunk the myth that all spanking is either abusive or damaging to the child. True abuse is defined as follows: the willful infliction of a cruel or inhuman corporal punishment or any injury that results in a traumatic condition.(California "Child Abuse" & Corporal Injury Laws, n.d.)

Now I need address the following terms, for the sake of clarity: discipline, punishment, positive discipline, and corporal punishment. Discipline is the process of teaching someone and raising them up to follow a specific path; this is similar to discipling someone, or discipleship. The word discipline, though, is most often used to refer to negative consequences that lead to appropriate learning. Positive discipline is a subset of discipline, and refers only to discipline that helps children feel connected, is respectful and encouraging, is effective in the long-term, teaches, and invited children to discover their capabilities.(About Positive Discipline, n.d.) Punishment, on the other hand, is more of “this for that,” or “an eye for an eye.” The attitude of “You destroyed my property, so I will hurt you.” This is a different motivation from the desire to train up a child. Finally, corporal punishment is the intentional infliction of physical pain, and can be for punishment or discipline, and can be harsh or gentle.

Today, in fact, a news article came out surrounding a situation in which this very question came up: At what point does discipline move from corporal punishment to physical abuse? A video of a Texas judge beating his 16-year-old daughter with his belt went viral, and while some think that it's acceptable discipline, a large group of people have responded with outrage.(http://www.fmnewschicago.com/news/local/story.aspx?ID=1565910) I think that the situation fell on the side of “physical abuse” rather than appropriate discipline. Where is the line drawn? I believe that the line should be drawn with consideration to six aspects:

• Length/Intensity: Obviously, if a spanking is too long, it no longer serves the purpose of teaching or training, but just inflicts pain. A seemingly endless spanking also can quality as cruel and can result in a traumatic condition. An appropriate length might be 4 swats, or for a really serious offense, 12, but not more than that. Intensity refers to how hard the child is hit, and with what instrument. Belts and wooden items are much more dangerous than hands or rods which are flexible and designed not to cause damage to a child. However, on very young children, even a flexible rob would be way too intense.

• Anger: This is extremely important. Disciplining a child in anger does sever the connection there, destroys trust, and is more about calming the parent than growing and teaching the child. The example given, that “a parent might lose patience, respond with anger, and spank the child” would be completely inappropriate. If the parent is angry, they must wait until they are not angry before attempting any manner of discipline, save for restraint.

• Unpredictability: I also cannot overemphasize the importance of this aspect. There are two elements of predictability. The first element is that the child knows that a spanking will follow, if they break whatever rule is involved. The spanking cannot be a surprise, or it seems unjust. Additionally, it's very important that the child know how long the spanking will be. There's a huge difference between 4 swats and 39, and if the child doesn't know which they are going to get, it can be completely terrifying and leave the child feeling powerless. Predictable punishment, though, seems much more reasonable and just to a child.

• Purpose: This goes back to the whole discipline/punishment idea. If the purpose is to train the child, the child senses that, and it's part of the connection between parent and child. It will also lead to reasonable measures of discipline which are only designed to help the child. For instance, at the of time of discipline, the parent should talk over with the child what was done wrong, why it was wrong, what should be done differently in the future, and should address the child's thoughts about any difficulties that might get in the way of better behavior in the future. If the purpose is punitive, the child will sense this also, and is more likely to be resentful. Also, the punishments are more likely to be unreasonable, and based on the irritation of the adult. Additionally, it should never be about control, but about teaching and growth.

• Opportunity for reconciliation: After discipline, it's important that the child have the opportunity to receive comfort and reconnect with the adult, and feel completely forgiven. Re-establishing this connection is crucial to the child's development and feeling of being loved and belonging. This helps let the child know that he or she is loved and accepted, even though the behavior in question was not acceptable.

• Age: The question of “when is a child too old to be spanked” is a good question. I don't know exactly, and I think it would depend on the maturity level of the child. Ultimately, though, as children grow to be adolescents, pre-teens, and teenagers, the dynamic between parent and child changes. It's no longer just a “command-obey” sort of relationship. Young adults are trying to figure out who they are, as separate from their parents. Spanking pre-teens and teens can be devastating to the relationship, and can cause humiliation, mental distress, and embarrassment. It breaks trust and leads to a lack of respect.

These are the six aspects that mark the difference between long-term effective and ineffective physical punishment, and between abuse that tears a child down and discipline that builds the child up. I have based this on reading I have done, and also on a lot of personal experience and things that I have personally witnessed in the lives of others. More research needs to be done regarding spanking, and it needs to be research that discriminated between the types of spankings. For example, angry spanking should not be measured together with calm and forewarned discipline. Needless to say, though, there are many other methods that can be used to train and to discipline children besides corporal punishment. Having the child practice a better way of doing things, giving the child additional chores, time-outs, having the child make restitution or apologize, having the child do 10 pushups, or other techniques can also be precisely what is needed.

References:

About Positive Discipline. (n.d.). Positive Discipline - Solutions for Parents and Teachers to reate Respectful Relationships in Homes and Schools. Retrieved November 4, 2011, from http://www.positivediscipline.com/what-is-positive-discipline.html

Argosy University, (2010). Module 1. Retrieved on October 30, 2011 from www.myeclassonline.com

Ballie, R. (2001). Spanking study gets big play in the media. American Psychological Association (APA). Retrieved November 3, 2011, from http://www.apa.org/monitor/dec01/spanking.aspx

California "Child Abuse" & Corporal Injury Laws | Penal Code 273d pc. (n.d.). California

Dowd, N. E., Singer, D. G., & Wilson, R. F. (2006). Handbook of children, culture, and violence. Thousand Oaks: SAGE Publications.

Marshall, M. J. (n.d.). Stop Spanking. Stop Spanking. Retrieved November 3, 2011, from http://www.stopspanking.com/

VIDEO: Family law judge beats his disabled daughter over downloaded music. - Local News - FM News 101.1 - Chicago. (2011). Home - FM News 101.1 - Chicago. Retrieved November 4, 2011, from http://www.fmnewschicago.com/news/local/story.aspx?ID=1565910

Demystifying Hypnosis

I had heard the word “hypnosis” tossed around a few times over the years, but I only stopped to think about the concept after I saw a stage-show in Knott's Scary Farm's “Haunt” event in 2008. In the show, a hypnotist called “the hypno-chick” chose about 20 members of the audience to participate in the show and be hypnotized. All of my life, I've been a people-watcher, and I know what responses to expect from people, given different character qualities, different moods, and various circumstances. What fascinated me about the show is that the people, in responding to the various statements given to them (IE suggestions that the onlookers were zombies who were going to attack, etc) weren't acting. I know acting. The participants were not faking.

Therefore, my observations stuck in my head, and I pondered the topic. Since that point in time, I've heard people's differing opinions on hypnosis, and for the most part they fall into two categories. Many people see hypnosis as fake: it's an act, it's a fraud, it's pretend, it's make-believe, it's people pretending to believe things they don't believe and feel things they don't feel, so that they can act a certain way or have fun or trick people. The other group of people take hypnotism much more seriously, they think that it's ominous: dangerous, mind-control, scary, irresponsible, destructive, or deceptive. Basically, most people seem to feel vaguely that hypnosis is either fake or that it will steal your mind and soul.

Now, since I was first introduced to the concept, I have been able to do my own research on the topic, including taking an online course about what hypnosis is, and how it works, from The Hypnosis Motivation Institute. Now here's the first question: is hypnosis fake? Is it just an act? A set of people pretending to be hypnotized for whatever reason? I would certainly say “no.” People find hypnosis helpful for a bunch of staple goals, such as pain reduction (even in surgery), confidence in public speaking, or breaking an addiction (for instance, to cigarettes). There is good evidence that it actually works. One could pin it all on a placebo effect, except that placebo effect can only explain a success rate of 33.4%, not anything like 75%. Additionally, the placebo effect would not be powerful enough to explain how a man, under hypnosis, would be able to skip anesthetic and yet experience a 83-minute surgery on his hand without pain.

The effects are not fake, and therefore, whatever hypnosis is, it isn't a fraud. Why do these things work, and how? Good question! I like the way you think.

Two Applications of Hypnosis

I do not think that hypnosis is mind-control, I do not think that it is dangerous, and I don't think that it could cause you to do anything that goes against your convictions. It's impossible to hypnotize a non-violent person and get them to even do so much as to hit another person with a piece of printer paper! (Yes, leading hypnotherapy professions and researchers have tried these various things, to see what the limitations of hypnosis are.) Now, there are two applications of hypnosis: short term, and long term. The short term applications include relaxation, being in a dream-like state, pain management, or reacting to hypothetical situations as though they were real (for instance, as in stage hypnosis shows). The (currently known) long term applications can include weight-loss, ceasing addiction, increasing confidence, and more healthy breathing patterns.

The Subconscious

How does it work? Hypnosis works by effecting the subconscious. Well that just brings up more questions! What is the subconscious? Is it some sort of psycho-babble concept that offers half-baked explanations of human motivations? The subconscious is actually quite simple, it consists of any function of your brain which is not consciously controlled. If you are driving along, consciously thinking about your date later that night, and then you inadvertently miss your exit, it's because you were delegating the task of “driving” to your subconscious, while you set your conscious thoughts toward whatever you're thinking about. Your subconscious keeps track of habits and memory of physical skills. You don't have to try to remember how to tie your shoe, you just do it. “How to tie a shoe” is a task stored in your subconscious, and you no longer have to consciously think about how to go about doing it. Who makes up your dreams? You do. You don't consciously think up your dream scenarios, but it is your brain inventing them. Therefore, it's controlled by your subconscious.

Dreaming is important for something else as well, REM sleep helps us to process new information and store long term memories. The Amygdala also keeps track of situations which have hurt us in the past, so that we can avoid them in the future. Without any sleep for an extended period of time, a person can actually go insane. So basically, the subconscious serves short-term and long term functions. Short-term, it provides us with dreams, and allows our frontal lobe to take a break while we rest. Long term, it keeps track of habits, activities we repeat, fears, processing memory and learning, and associations. Therefore, it makes sense that hypnosis can be used for short-term functions, or long-term goals.

Trust

One reason I say that hypnosis is not dangerous is that, unlike brain-washing, it is trust-based, in both applications. If a person does not want to be hypnotized, they cannot be hypnotized. If a person does not feel safe being hypnotized, then they won't be hypnotized. If a person does not trust the hypnotist, they will not be hypnotized. Hypnosis is a lot like guided imagery: a person makes a suggestion of what you can imagine (imagine a place which makes you feel sad), and you choose to take that suggestion and actually look at it in your mind. A hypnotist leads, and the person follows. If there is a lack of trust, the hypnotherapist can lead, but no one will follow, and so there is no hypnosis going on.

What about once a person is already in a the state of hypnosis? Is it still a trust-based lead-and-follow relationship? Absolutely! For instance, for people who are under hypnosis, if the hypnotist is repeating back to them something they want to believe (IE “You no longer feel compelled to pick up a cigarette when you are stressed, instead you feel like relaxing.”), and the person does not accept that message, it is called an “ab-reaction.” If an ab-reaction occurs, the therapist will not repeat the message, but rather will ask the subject about their reaction, once they are in a normal state of alertness. You can never force someone to believe something they wouldn't otherwise believe, in long term application.

Short-term Effect: A Guided Dream

In short-term application, you can get someone to temporarily accept a false reality and react to it as if it were real – it's like a guided dream where the hypnotists narrates what the dream is, and the hypnotized person chooses how to react to the dream. This is the point at which you can understand why a person would do, under hypnotism, something they have a conviction against doing in real life – they are still aware of the their choices and actions, just like you determine your choices in a dream, even if they forget what happened after hypnosis ends, just like people forget their dreams

Why do people forget their dreams? Well, when you are asleep, the part of your brain which judges realities objectively to see if they make sense, and the part of your brain which records memory, is off. This explains why, when asleep, we don't question impossibilities – why is it that you walk into a house, and then as you enter another room, it's your friend's house instead? It also explains why you forget dreams, unless you quickly make a conscious effort to record them into your memory when you are more awake. Similarly, through the “guided dream” sort of stage hypnosis, the same parts of the brain are turned off, and the participants may not question impossibilities, or remember what happened very clearly. Even so, while under hypnosis, they are completely aware of their thoughts and decisions. Do we make long-term changes in what we believe based on a dream, though? No. For the same reason, stage hypnotism, which is only like a guided dream sequence, does not produce lasting changes (like the other uses of hypnotism can do).

Short-term Effect: Pain Management

Another short-term use of hypnosis is pain reduction, such as in the case of child-birth or surgery with anesthesia. You do not consciously choose to feel pain; the pain is felt in your mind, but it's in the subconscious jurisdiction of the mind, and can therefore be managed through hypnosis. I do not have much further information of this, except to say that the ability to hypnotize a person who needs serious surgery when no pain drugs are available is one of the most humane ways of using hypnotism I've ever heard of.

(Continue with Part II)

Demystifying Hypnosis -- Part II

So how do people achieve this state of hypnosis? Is it simply relaxation? “YOU ARE BECOMING VERY SLEEPY...”

It is and it isn't relaxation. Which is to say, it is relaxation, but it isn't simply relaxation. The state of hypnotism itself is a state of relaxation, but to hypnotize a person, you don't start by relaxing them. You start by overloading their brain with messages. Once the conscious mind is completely overloaded with messages, the hypnotist will offer the person a chance to let go of off of those thoughts and sink into a relaxed state. Usually, after being overloaded, people will gladly accept the suggestion to just stop thinking for a bit. This is similar to the physical relaxation technique of holding a muscle tight for several seconds before relaxing it, which brings it into a state of better relaxation than it was in before it was tense.

So, at this point I've introduced the concepts of the effectiveness of hypnosis, the difference between the short-term functions of the subconscious and the long-term functions, how short-term stage hypnosis is most like the dream function of the subconscious, and I've briefly explained the trust-based nature of the practice, and the way hypnotists bring people into a state of hypnosis. Now this is all well and good, but how are long term changes brought about by hypnosis?

Memory

First of all, I would like to quickly mention one use of hypnosis which can be either short-term or long-term: accessing forgotten memories. If you have a memory, then the data is recorded in your mind. If you cannot consciously remember, then you know that it's somewhere in your subconscious that you have forgotten how to access. It's like putting a file in a cabinet and then coming back the next day and not remembering which cabinet you placed the file in. This is why it's easier to answer multiple choice questions than open-ended question on quizzes – the possible answers jog your memory so that it's easier to access memories that you always have stored in your mind somewhere. So, since memory is in the jurisdiction of the subconscious, sometimes hypnosis can be useful to help people remember things they think they have forgotten. Generally, after they remember it, they refile the information in their brain in a place which is easier to access (remember) later, and it's a long term change, albeit a small one. Otherwise, they may just “forget” it again.

The Discrepancy

Now, most everyone has heard the claim that hypnotism can help people to stop smoking. How can it do that? Well, sometimes there is a discrepancy between our conscious and subconscious thoughts and beliefs. Seriously. In the case of the smoker who is willing to pay good money to stop smoking, he obviously is conscious of a desire to quit smoking. Yet on his own, he chooses to keep smoking. This is because subconsciously, he likes smoking, which is an ingrained habit, and is associated with stress-relief. The subconscious keeps track of experiences, habits, and associations. So this man wants to quit, but has a hard time doing so because of this discrepancy between his conscious and subconscious mind. It takes 30 days of doing a particular activity to make it a habit, which is to etch it into the subconscious. Once it's etched there, it takes a lot of work if you want to erase that habit! Hypnotism is a way of aligning the subconscious mind with the conscious mind.

The man tells the hypnotist, consciously, “I hate smoking. I would rather do 5 minutes of deep breathing to relax than pick up a cigarette to help me relax when I am stressed.” When the man is in a state of hypnosis, the hypnotist repeated back to his subconscious the same messages. (If the hypnotist repeats back something the man does NOT consciously believe, his subconscious won't believe it either, and he will reject the message. An abreaction.) After a few sessions of hearing back what he consciously believes, while in a relaxed state, and accepting it as what he truly and deeply believes, the man is freed from his subconscious insistence that what he really wants is to smoke. Therefore, he is able to quit smoking through letting truth really sink in.

Hypnosis, therefore, can also apply to other mental discrepancies between conscious and subconscious mind. You want to lose weight, but subconsciously you associate sweets with comfort and happiness. You want to make a presentation and think it's a good idea, but subconsciously you fear that you will fail miserably and make a fool of yourself. People habitually seek assistance from hypnotherapists regarding these topics, and it's very publicized. The combination of regular therapy and hypnotherapy to address other discrepancies of mind does exist, but it's less well-known or widely practiced. Why? Because once you get past the simple discrepancies between conscious and subconscious, it becomes a bit more complex.

Hypnosis and Psychology

For instance, take the case of a phobia. It may be simple to resolve a phobia and assign someone's subconscious fear of pillows to match their conscious belief that pillows are pretty safe. However, what if you have someone like Monk, who has a hundred phobias? Sometimes the mind will make up phobias to explain an underlying feeling of fear and pain, such as the emotion result of a long-term attachment disorder.

When you are dreaming, and you hear a sound, sometimes your subconscious will integrate that sound into your dream by thinking up a plausible dream explanation for why the sound would be there. Similarly, the brain can think up all sort of fears, dislikes, and phobias to try to account for an ongoing feeling of discomfort and feeling which stems from a deeper issue. If you aligned this person's subconscious mind with their conscious mind – that the things they fear are actually safe – their subconscious will just go and make up some more, still in an attempt to explain the ongoing emotional state. Similarly, the subconscious of a person with Multiple Personality Disorder (D.I.D.) is divided, and if you hypnotize a person like that, you don't know which subconscious you will be dealing with. (However, hypnosis has been used to help people with D.I.D recover memory and integrate)

At this point, I believe that hypnosis is neither fake nor dangerous, can be used to help people, and therefore I plan to actually learn hypnosis myself. Then we shall see if hypnotism is everything more than I claim it might be! From personal experience, hypnosis helped me to breath properly again after months of hyperventilating (since how fast you breath is mainly a subconscious activity). In regular therapy, it sometimes takes years of repeating back to someone what they truly believe about themselves before it sinks in, but I want to be able to help people to internalize their own beliefs without wasting so much time and emotional energy.