Skarlet, I think I know your errant theology enough to say that you believe that God's grace is completely resistible- see, people do it all the time. You say, also, that Salvation is merely an offer that can be accepted or refused. In saying these things, you strip God of His sovereignty, reduce Him to a poor beggar of men's souls and relegates Him to the role of a responder. Don't you see, this makes you sovereign over your own destiny and refutes the Scripture which says, "it does not depend on man's desire or effort" and "God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden. ~ Rm 9.
Dan; Yes, God's grace is resistible, and only because He designed it to be that way. God doesn't want people who have no choice but to serve Him, He is a God who exalts in relationships. If you have a problem with this, take it up with Him and not me. I feel that since God made the universe, if He wishes to give people grace enough so that they are able to accept His offer of salvation but don't have to, He has every right to do so.
Yes, Salvation is offered to all, but that's not all. It's also enacted for those who believe, according to God's design. Everyday, people are regenerated, justified, and sanctified further and further. If this seems to a person to be "merely" anything, then that one does not fully yet understand the magnitude of the gospel, or the Amazingness of His grace toward all. Salvation is an absolute miracle and we should be on our knees every day thanking God that He is Merciful enough to offer it to us wretched beings!
God IS Sovereign over all. Giving people the option to resist His grace does not make Him less Sovereign. In fact, to say that God is not free to offer salvation to all would be to try to tell God what He is and is not free to do in order to retain His status of Sovereignty in your eyes. He is not afraid of your opinion. He is Sovereign over all and gives grace as He sees fit, and not as you see fit. He does not beg, but commands; He also glorifies His name in dealing out the rewards of disobedience to those who ignore those commands. He is not a responder, but is proactive in the life of every human being, both in blessing and grace, and in cursing and punishment.
Finally, none of us is sovereign over his or her own destiny. God is. God chooses who He wants to save, according to His conditions, in line with His good will. If He chooses to have mercy on those who do not resist His grace, what is that to you? And if He chooses to continue to harden those who harden their hearts in response to His grace, who are we to stand against Him? Every destiny is in the hands of the Lord, and it is only by His will and His grace that you or I has been given grace to his faith, and that we are promised eternal life. If God had wanted, He could have given eternal death to believers, but it did not so please Him. It is HIS world. HIS conditions, my friend.