Friday, October 16, 2009

The Purple Chris Diet

Forget about Awburgers and Wootbeer, folks, we have something more awesome for you! And by "more awesome," of course, I mean "more recommended by Purple Chris." Today I am writing to introduce to you all a new and rather odd interesting diet. This diet has four simple rules to it. Four simple rules that you absolutely must obey, word for word. If you don't maybe it will work and maybe it won't, who knows? In any case, Purple Chris does not vouch for it.

Rule Number 1:
Eat at least two cheeseburgers a week. No, not hamburgers, it's gotta be cheeseburgers. No, there are no substitutions available if you can't eat dairy. Maybe you could buy pills from Walmart that make you able to digest dairy, good luck with that. Cheeseburgers, that's right, and I don't mean MacDonalds "cheeseburgers" either. I'm talking about REAL cheeseburgers, like Nations or perhaps even In&Out.

Rule One


Rule Number 2:
Drink at least two cans/bottles of Pepsi each day. Again, the wording is intentional. It's not two "sodas" it's two Pepsis. No, not coke. Pepsi. Not orange juice. Pepsi. Like I said at the beginning, you can't make substitutions in this diet, and if you do, then it's different diet which may or may not work, but is not vouched for by Chris. Oh! Now, I'm not sure if Cherry Pepsi counts as Pepsi, but it probably does. And diet Pepsi? I don't think that really counts at all, but again, I am not a hundred percent sure.

Is Awesome?


Rule Number 3:
If the first two rules haven't scared you off already, the next rule is that you can eat whatever you feel like whenever you feel like.



Rule Number 4:
So many rules!! Don't you feel rather fenced in already? Or rather, do you feel so not fenced in that you feel that the diet can't possible work? In either case, rule #4 is the same, and is very important too: Only eat when you are hungry, and only eat until you are satisfied rather than until you are "full." When you are truly hungry is different from when you simply have an appetite or cravings, and with discernment, you can distinguish between those. Also, to be satisfied is to be content and no longer hungry. This is different from eating too much, and then feeling stuffed, full, or sated, which is what we Americans tend to do. So yeh, eat only when hungry, and only until satisfied.

MMMmmmm


Purple Chris says that it works for him. Seriously. That's what he says. He also says "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it!" So yeh, maybe there is some secret and hidden ingenuity in this plan that you have not been able to detect. Or perhaps you have detected why it's awesome. Or perhaps you are quite confident that it won't work for people other than Chris. Otherwise you might feel that it could work, but you are not confident enough to bet your own health and well-being on it. Perhaps you are right. But hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it. And who knows? Maybe it works and is the awesomest diet ever?

*Note: I personally do not endorse above-mentioned diet. I am merely publicizing the idea. If you try it and bad consequences follow, I claim no responsibility.*

5 comments:

ninest123 said...

ninest123 16.03
ugg boots, michael kors outlet, ugg boots, christian louboutin outlet, replica watches, ugg boots, ray ban sunglasses, burberry outlet online, cheap oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet, nike outlet, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet, chanel handbags, longchamp, michael kors outlet, jordan shoes, louis vuitton outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, prada handbags, nike air max, louboutin shoes, nike free, louis vuitton outlet, louis vuitton, ugg boots, uggs on sale, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton, tiffany jewelry, burberry, louis vuitton, ray ban sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, oakley sunglasses, louboutin outlet, tiffany and co, gucci outlet, prada outlet, longchamp outlet, oakley sunglasses, michael kors, nike air max, louboutin, michael kors outlet, ray ban sunglasses, replica watches, longchamp outlet

ninest123 said...

vans pas cher, ralph lauren pas cher, timberland, true religion jeans, oakley pas cher, air force, hermes, tn pas cher, coach purses, true religion jeans, nike air max, vanessa bruno, nike roshe run, nike free run uk, michael kors, true religion outlet, louboutin pas cher, ray ban uk, sac guess, nike blazer, north face, hogan, michael kors, sac longchamp, ralph lauren uk, burberry, air max, lacoste pas cher, replica handbags, ray ban pas cher, michael kors, hollister pas cher, true religion jeans, new balance pas cher, north face, nike air max, abercrombie and fitch, kate spade outlet, hollister, converse pas cher, mulberry, nike air max, nike free, michael kors, air jordan pas cher, longchamp pas cher, coach outlet, lululemon, kate spade handbags, coach outlet

ninest123 said...

nike roshe, oakley, insanity workout, new balance, iphone 6 cases, nike trainers, p90x workout, reebok shoes, hollister, north face outlet, ipad cases, bottega veneta, ghd, iphone 5s cases, babyliss, ferragamo shoes, iphone 6s cases, herve leger, longchamp, soccer jerseys, jimmy choo shoes, lululemon, iphone cases, timberland boots, vans shoes, soccer shoes, ralph lauren, iphone 6s plus cases, valentino shoes, nike roshe, hollister, nike air max, birkin bag, abercrombie and fitch, mcm handbags, giuseppe zanotti, celine handbags, north face outlet, hollister, instyler, chi flat iron, s5 cases, nfl jerseys, mac cosmetics, louboutin, beats by dre, mont blanc, baseball bats, wedding dresses, asics running shoes, iphone 6 plus cases, nike huarache

ninest123 said...

toms shoes, louis vuitton, moncler, moncler, canada goose, vans, barbour jackets, sac louis vuitton pas cher, supra shoes, moncler, canada goose, swarovski crystal, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, moncler, links of london, ray ban, converse, barbour, coach outlet, montre pas cher, canada goose, converse outlet, bottes ugg, marc jacobs, wedding dresses, moncler, ugg boots uk, karen millen, lancel, canada goose, doudoune canada goose, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, hollister, pandora charms, juicy couture outlet, canada goose outlet, canada goose uk, pandora jewelry, replica watches, thomas sabo, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, ugg pas cher, pandora charms, moncler outlet, gucci, swarovski, moncler, moncler, juicy couture outlet, louis vuitton
ninest123 16.03

chenlina said...

chenlina20160719
michael kors outlet
ralph lauren outlet
cheap jordan shoes
coach factory outlet
celine bags
ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton outlet
celine outlet
oakley sunglasses
north face outlet
toms outlet
jordan 13
christian louboutin outlet
coach factory outlet online
ed hardy clothing
coach outlet clearance
kate spade handbags
jordan retro 11
ray ban wayfarer
air jordan pas cher
replica watches
louis vuitton outlet
nike roshe run women
coach outlet
michael kors outlet
rolex submariner
louis vuitton purses
tods outlet online
michael kors outlet
ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton outlet stores
louis vuitton handbags
ray ban sunglasses
fake watches
tiffany outlet
oakley vault
hermes birkin bag
rolex watches
jordan retro
nike air max 90
as

Post a Comment