Monday, November 16, 2009

Hitting on the person you like: Sweet VS Stalker

There are many ways to hit on people, some are sweet, and some are just creepy. Me and my sister sat down for a while and made a list. It's rather amusing, and gives good tips to newer stalkers... Are the people you love not creeped out by you? We can remedy that!


Stalker!


Sweet: Buy them a christmas gift
STALKERISH: Buy them 364 gifts for christmas (as goes along with the 12 days of christmas song)

Hug them
Squeeze them until they can't breathe, while remarking that you never want to let go

Share your jelly beans
Send a 20 pd box of jelly beans to their house

Post a picture of you with them on facebook
Make a fansite dedicated to them (complete with hundreds of pictures of them, as well as public lists of all their favorite music)

Drive them home
Watch them while their sleeping in their home

Ask for their number politely
Repeatedly ask "Can I have your number? Can I have it? Can I? Can I have it?" while following them around

Say "You're cute"
Engrave "I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER" on their doorstep

Sneak up behind them, put your hands over their eyes, and say "guess who"
Kidnap them, tie them up, blindfold them, and then say "guess who!"

Helping them with their homework
Breaking into their house at night to do their homework so that they'll be pleasantly surprised when they awake

Dedicate a song to them
Dedicate "One way or another" to them

Have a picture of them
Make a life-size statue of them

Buy them a cute shirt
Buy them a closet full of designer clothes

Watch a romance with them
Watch Twilight with them

Give them a cute licence plate frame
Install a GPS tracker on their car without their knowledge

Buy them an extra ticket so they can join you at a ball game
Buy tickets to all the ball games they are already planning on going to (that they don't know you know about)

Be friendly to their family
Bribe their younger siblings for secret information about them

Offer to do them a favor
Do the favor without telling them (example: doing their laundry... "I didn't know you wore a size 10!!!")

Give them a camera
Set up security cameras around their house

Text them about your day
Email them all your deepest, darkest secrets and stories

Be there for them when they need you
Be there for them ALL the time. Literally. All the time.


Any questions?

________________________________________

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